she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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