He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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