I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
