i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
