elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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