I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
