btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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