Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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