Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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