can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
