First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
