He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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