Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
