Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
