hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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