Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
