Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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