It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
