I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
