There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
