New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize