WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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