don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
