My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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