Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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