Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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