I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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