There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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