i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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