I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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