If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
