Dual....:-)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
