a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
