Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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