dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
