It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
