need another drink. this is the easiest way
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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