I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
