when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
