From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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