What a fucking waste of an outfit
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
