It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize