How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
