just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
