We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
and she was petting her beer can
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
