Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
