why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
