It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
