My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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