do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
