Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
