you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
