This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
