if i can run in heels then i can drive
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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