remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
