Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
