but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
