i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
