North Korea, Best Korea!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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