They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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