apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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