How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
