I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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