I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
