I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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