i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
