I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
