maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
