So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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