He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
being pregnant is like rehab
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
