No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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