What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
