what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize