just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize