i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
