called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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