i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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