Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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