Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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