Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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