i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
